Current Life

Current Muse: Lady Gaga

Current Boyfriend: N/A

Current Girlfriend: N/A

Current Christmas Spirit: Nonexistent

Current Weight: I don't event want to know, but add on half a turkey and god knows how many chocolates

Current Happiness Level: Fairly Good

Current Awake-ness Level: Barely There

Current Employment: Slave to Meat

Current Writing Status: Far to close to Nonexistent

Current I-Feel-Fab-About-Life-In-All-Ways Level: Below Any Possible Radar

Life in Ophelya's life is always an upbeat and fun experience!

Not.

Bile

yeah, weird name, whatever I don't care. I was thinking that i should probably go to bed, or do some homework or be productive in anyway....and then i began to write. I love to hate my procrastination. Right now, I'm hating it a lot. I know the saying, where theres a will there's a way! Yet whoever wrote that was not at all depressed or hadn't hit his or her midlife crisis...or they were just stupid and naive. Either way, its not at all that simple for me. I believe that I am most likely clinically depressed. OMG!! NO WAYS!! You might say, but come on!?! THINK ABOUT IT! I'm 17, my parents are divorced - big shock now a days - my father is with another woman who I hate, my sister has moved out and I had a really bad break-up the WEEK before my grade 12 year started. How would you be feeling? Oh and I have a show opening in a week and I'm sexually confused and frustrated. This is all happening in one head, among numerous other things that I can't get into at all because that would take up far to much of my time and your time.

Oh one other thing, not only are my problems running around in my head, my friends are asking for advice and just making stupid decisions for themselves. WHO WANTS TO DATE A WHORE!!?!?! apparently my friend does and is attempting to court a fucking strumpet! God! Wow totally forgot, I'm writer as well - as you know - and that means that I have characters, therefore their problems are in my head and there stories! I can't get it all straight! If not, I'm fucked righteously!

Thats all for tonight non-readers,

Toodles,

Ophelya - The Unconventional Girl (with messed up and stereotypical problems)

New Spanish Project

If any of you out there are Argentinean or know about the food, please e-mail me some of your thoughs about it and/or some of your favourite recipies! Thanks a bunch!!

Ophelya,
The Unconventional Girl

Another Poem

Well, first one thing: I forgot one movie from my list. Gladiator! Such a fantastic performance by Russel Crow and fantastic cinematography!

The poems that I am posting are ones which were inspired by a sign given to me by Fate. Yes it does sound odd but hey I'm pretty much pagan and a fatalist.

Remember the Moth

Silken touch
Dusting the skin with velvet feet
Tip-toeing onto my hand
Wings painted in rings of dull grey
Remember the moth
Mysterious nocturnal angel
Dancing in the light
Fluttering with the hands of death
Controversial butterfly
Tainted with spite and darkness
Hidden from the sun
Innocence of night
Fly home

Return

The moth returns to her cage
After being seduced by his light
Letter her delicate wings
Be encased in the gleam
It flickered then went out
Vanished from site
The moth fell
Tumbling through dangerous air
Seconds drew on like ages
Dust settled on her falling body

My Favourite Movies

An odd title yes, but its a worthy one.

1. American Beauty
2. Requiem For A Dream
3. Girl, Interrupted
4. Fight Club
5. Prozac Nation

Fave Disney Movies:
1. Mulan
2. Tarzan
3. Robin Hood
4. Hercules
5. Peter Pan

6. Anastasia - it isn't disney but it should be

I'm A Poet, Suck It!

I’ll feel it when you do
The pain that boils in my blood
Burning the real emotion black
Turning my mind backwards
Can’t you see me suffer each day
Each day your hand clasps my breath
Take what you think is yours
Leave me with what is left of my broke thoughts
I’ll feel it when you do


Blacks of our hearts
Contentment of the dust of forlorn past
Controlling the subject’s knees.
Books debate the clouds above
Vague looks of understanding other virtues
Vexatious heavens of God

Yup, I'm depressed and artsy...anything else new? No, okay lets move onto more important things...

Uninteresting Title

Well, guess what?
1. I'm bored with life again
2. I'm considering not playing this guy because I'm A. not sure if I'm that into him and B. I really want to date a girl.
3. Major problems with the above
4. Haven't been to see my counselor in about 2 weeks, funnily enough both weeks I've been at my dads.
5. I think I freaked my writing teacher with this short story i wrote. I'll post it when I have the right copy on my computer.

Anyways, its only Wednesday, i'm fucked.

Oh and there is a major wind storm battering my house. Its scary and messed up.

Anyways, thats all for now. I know pretty lame post but fuck off....

Whats New...?

As usual, nothing. Just hyped up watching Requiem at 12AM when I have school in 8 hours. Wow thats weird to think about, I'll have 6 hours of sleep and then school in 2. Ouch, Im going to crash. Oh well, i've gone on 2. This wont be that bad.
Though at the rate this stupid thing is loading I'll be sitting here until 6AM! WOOT!

Oh new found fantastic idol: Jared Leto. Man I love his acting also the fact that he stumbled into it. If only his music was as good as his acting. I dunno, 30 Seconds to Mars. They're good, just not fantastic...in the least. His melody stuff is great but not to keen on his screamo esc. Just doesn't float my boat. Nope , nope.

Everybody has to come down at some point
You can't fly forever
locked away in your beautiful fantasies
Nothing is always
Fleeting glimpses of future horror
If only you could see it is reality
Controlled by your pills and veins
Intravenous delinquents


Wow, first poem written in a while.

10 to one. I'm fucked.

okay, 1:30AM. TIRED!!!! And really shocked at how amazing requiem was. Chops to director and writer!!

Dynamics

So, I'm sitting in front of my friends computer and I don't know why I am here. I'm here because of fucking habit. I'm tired, getting into a disagreement with another friend and its fucking Thursday and 11 o'clock. WHY AM I HERE?!?!?

This blows. I feel incredibly out of place in the house I should feel completely at ease.

They are talking about things, that I can't put an input and they don't care. At all. And it sucks. I know it is my turn to be this one, but still it's really hurting and I don't want it to.

That first part was written a while ago and now I am better. Went to the counsellor yesterday and she said I did incredibly well considering my age (17). And today my Spanish teacher told me word for word, "I'm not giving up on you!" As I was leaving the class! I WAS SO HAPPY! I'm getting 57.6% in the class, i was getting 45 something-or-rather a couple weeks before. This week has been so awesome so far. Oh I also reconciled with my long time ex BF G. Yet he kind of confessed his undying love for me, not so into that. I don't re-date, just one of my many rules. I just don't go for the sloppy seconds, its kinda pitiful in my books. Though it really depends on the person. For G, no I would NOT get back together. Our relationship ended for a reason and those reasons are still there. Sorry Honey, not going to happen.

Me and My Sister in 20 Years

Guess who is who?






She sat in front of her sipping the delicate foam from atop the café latte out of the round Starbucks cup. The French manicured hand flipped pages of the Georgia Straight in a frustrated manor. A sigh breached her painted lips.
“So, what have you been up to?” Her irritation swept through each word as her right hand slammed the paper closed.
She stuttered an answer forward. “I…well…you know. In my field it’s kinda slow sometimes.” She scrapped the back of her calf with her hiker.
The other nodded in agreement as she stared diligently at her sister. The small coffee steamed up onto her glasses fogging them adding to her unclean demeanour. A dirty flannel t-shirt slung over the back of the chair uncovered a bland white tank draping her too thin body.
They were the complete opposite.

It is what it is.


Toodles,

the Unconventional Girl

Just Another Week

Okay so this week has been interesing. One: got a mild concussion on the weekend. Two: am feeling totally alienated from my two best buds, C and S, which blows!!! Erm what else sucks in my life. Oh! Bingo!! No body fucking listens to me. Okay j get it I'm a nieve little high school chick pleading to be understood. Just to clearify, I'm not looking to be understood I'm looking for some one to listen!!! Listening and understanding are completely different. I don't care if you get what I'm saying as long as you'll let me say it. If that is to much to ask for, sorry for being such a fucking insignicant waist of time. See you the after life fuckers.

Ps: just had a bad blow out at my dad. We don't always get along. Suppressed anger? Just a possibility.


Toodles,

the Unconventional Girl

Weekend hell

Another day in fucking paradise... Not! Guess what? I got concussed over the weekend!! Oh yeah! So much fun. So what happend was I went to a soccer game, my own, and played in goal for half of it. Then I played out as a midfielder for the second half. During the last 20 minutes or so I had a ball to the head twice, both tines from close rang blasts!! I'm talking seriously hard kicks here. Then I was tackled, yes there is tackling in soccer and landed on my head. It was fun trying to stand after that.

So today I got to my friend S's for our morning ritual and I told her everything. Afterwhich I realized I'd be useless at school and stayed at her house and slept for the first two blocks, Spanish and writing. Both classes I need to get into the prohlgeam I want but I can make up what ever I missed.


Anyways, I have to write a poem - which I will post - on my version or vision if what hell is. By the by this is for my lit class. IT IS AWESOME!! so yeah. See yeah.



Toodles,

the Unconventional Girl

Meeting Me

Well, for one I am starting anotther frigging blog with well. Anyways, that really isn't that important. At the moment I am undernethe a desk pretending to be stuck in a fucking earthquake. This sucks. And now we are listening to the really odd noises of fake earthquakes. Woot... counting up? Weren't we always supposed to count down? Oh well.

Wow nothing today has been at all important. I've done well in Spanish since the beginning of the year. Which is ridiculous because I suck at all languages except for english which - not to blow my own horn- but I kinda kick ass at anything english related. Though this blog might not show it at all because my grammar on this thing sucks and i'm using a hell load of teenage slang.

SECOND PART OF TODAY:

At my friend Saf's house about to go see Where The Wild Things Are. It's going to be great!!

Must go

Such Stuff that SUCKS

Okay, so its a new day which most likely means its a shittier one. Yesterday I was at soccer practice and it SUCKED! Not just because it was effing cold out , no no, it was because I played horrifically bad. Not only could I not shoot worth a crap but I couldn't pass, dribble - yes there is dribbling in soccer - nothing. Anyways, soccer blew but before I went to soccer I saw D. Oh D. My old grade 9 would have been boyfriend if I hadn't been a complete image obsessed goody-too-shoes. I'll tell yalls the story: Picture this: Me, little grade 9 misfit, slammed into a class full of guys. I was pretty much the only chick in the class unless you counted the 3 asian girls that did nothing and barely showed up, which I don't. So, I'm meshes in with these six guys: D, Julian, Andrew, Oliver, Jacob and Sam. They were all really awesome. Though, I already sort of had a past with D. We had stupid grade 8 crushes on each other, which don't count at all.
From the beginning, D and I had a conection. We held the group together, we made it one. Also, I kept them all in check most of the time, I was there in class mother. So as a group we became pretty close but D and I got really close untill he finally spewed and asked me out.
Now this is when I fucked up. I told him yes yt then got sick and the next time I saw him I told him actually couldn't go out with him. I broke his frigging heart.
The most unfortunate thing about the entire experience is that I told him no eventuiugh I still had major feelings for him and still do. When ever I see him all I cab thinn is "thank god he is still alive" Its terrible.

Well what can I do now. I can sleep now.

NIGHT

The Beginning

Well, what can I say. I'm the usual teenage girl of this time, tired techno wizard and some one who is completely dependent on technology. We suck. We're silly nieve little children scampering around like we either know everything or know nothing. Oh how we have devolved.

Oh fuck, it's really late.
night