Bile

yeah, weird name, whatever I don't care. I was thinking that i should probably go to bed, or do some homework or be productive in anyway....and then i began to write. I love to hate my procrastination. Right now, I'm hating it a lot. I know the saying, where theres a will there's a way! Yet whoever wrote that was not at all depressed or hadn't hit his or her midlife crisis...or they were just stupid and naive. Either way, its not at all that simple for me. I believe that I am most likely clinically depressed. OMG!! NO WAYS!! You might say, but come on!?! THINK ABOUT IT! I'm 17, my parents are divorced - big shock now a days - my father is with another woman who I hate, my sister has moved out and I had a really bad break-up the WEEK before my grade 12 year started. How would you be feeling? Oh and I have a show opening in a week and I'm sexually confused and frustrated. This is all happening in one head, among numerous other things that I can't get into at all because that would take up far to much of my time and your time.

Oh one other thing, not only are my problems running around in my head, my friends are asking for advice and just making stupid decisions for themselves. WHO WANTS TO DATE A WHORE!!?!?! apparently my friend does and is attempting to court a fucking strumpet! God! Wow totally forgot, I'm writer as well - as you know - and that means that I have characters, therefore their problems are in my head and there stories! I can't get it all straight! If not, I'm fucked righteously!

Thats all for tonight non-readers,

Toodles,

Ophelya - The Unconventional Girl (with messed up and stereotypical problems)

New Spanish Project

If any of you out there are Argentinean or know about the food, please e-mail me some of your thoughs about it and/or some of your favourite recipies! Thanks a bunch!!

Ophelya,
The Unconventional Girl

Another Poem

Well, first one thing: I forgot one movie from my list. Gladiator! Such a fantastic performance by Russel Crow and fantastic cinematography!

The poems that I am posting are ones which were inspired by a sign given to me by Fate. Yes it does sound odd but hey I'm pretty much pagan and a fatalist.

Remember the Moth

Silken touch
Dusting the skin with velvet feet
Tip-toeing onto my hand
Wings painted in rings of dull grey
Remember the moth
Mysterious nocturnal angel
Dancing in the light
Fluttering with the hands of death
Controversial butterfly
Tainted with spite and darkness
Hidden from the sun
Innocence of night
Fly home

Return

The moth returns to her cage
After being seduced by his light
Letter her delicate wings
Be encased in the gleam
It flickered then went out
Vanished from site
The moth fell
Tumbling through dangerous air
Seconds drew on like ages
Dust settled on her falling body

My Favourite Movies

An odd title yes, but its a worthy one.

1. American Beauty
2. Requiem For A Dream
3. Girl, Interrupted
4. Fight Club
5. Prozac Nation

Fave Disney Movies:
1. Mulan
2. Tarzan
3. Robin Hood
4. Hercules
5. Peter Pan

6. Anastasia - it isn't disney but it should be

I'm A Poet, Suck It!

I’ll feel it when you do
The pain that boils in my blood
Burning the real emotion black
Turning my mind backwards
Can’t you see me suffer each day
Each day your hand clasps my breath
Take what you think is yours
Leave me with what is left of my broke thoughts
I’ll feel it when you do


Blacks of our hearts
Contentment of the dust of forlorn past
Controlling the subject’s knees.
Books debate the clouds above
Vague looks of understanding other virtues
Vexatious heavens of God

Yup, I'm depressed and artsy...anything else new? No, okay lets move onto more important things...

Uninteresting Title

Well, guess what?
1. I'm bored with life again
2. I'm considering not playing this guy because I'm A. not sure if I'm that into him and B. I really want to date a girl.
3. Major problems with the above
4. Haven't been to see my counselor in about 2 weeks, funnily enough both weeks I've been at my dads.
5. I think I freaked my writing teacher with this short story i wrote. I'll post it when I have the right copy on my computer.

Anyways, its only Wednesday, i'm fucked.

Oh and there is a major wind storm battering my house. Its scary and messed up.

Anyways, thats all for now. I know pretty lame post but fuck off....

Whats New...?

As usual, nothing. Just hyped up watching Requiem at 12AM when I have school in 8 hours. Wow thats weird to think about, I'll have 6 hours of sleep and then school in 2. Ouch, Im going to crash. Oh well, i've gone on 2. This wont be that bad.
Though at the rate this stupid thing is loading I'll be sitting here until 6AM! WOOT!

Oh new found fantastic idol: Jared Leto. Man I love his acting also the fact that he stumbled into it. If only his music was as good as his acting. I dunno, 30 Seconds to Mars. They're good, just not fantastic...in the least. His melody stuff is great but not to keen on his screamo esc. Just doesn't float my boat. Nope , nope.

Everybody has to come down at some point
You can't fly forever
locked away in your beautiful fantasies
Nothing is always
Fleeting glimpses of future horror
If only you could see it is reality
Controlled by your pills and veins
Intravenous delinquents


Wow, first poem written in a while.

10 to one. I'm fucked.

okay, 1:30AM. TIRED!!!! And really shocked at how amazing requiem was. Chops to director and writer!!