Okay, so its a new day which most likely means its a shittier one. Yesterday I was at soccer practice and it SUCKED! Not just because it was effing cold out , no no, it was because I played horrifically bad. Not only could I not shoot worth a crap but I couldn't pass, dribble - yes there is dribbling in soccer - nothing. Anyways, soccer blew but before I went to soccer I saw D. Oh D. My old grade 9 would have been boyfriend if I hadn't been a complete image obsessed goody-too-shoes. I'll tell yalls the story: Picture this: Me, little grade 9 misfit, slammed into a class full of guys. I was pretty much the only chick in the class unless you counted the 3 asian girls that did nothing and barely showed up, which I don't. So, I'm meshes in with these six guys: D, Julian, Andrew, Oliver, Jacob and Sam. They were all really awesome. Though, I already sort of had a past with D. We had stupid grade 8 crushes on each other, which don't count at all.
From the beginning, D and I had a conection. We held the group together, we made it one. Also, I kept them all in check most of the time, I was there in class mother. So as a group we became pretty close but D and I got really close untill he finally spewed and asked me out.
Now this is when I fucked up. I told him yes yt then got sick and the next time I saw him I told him actually couldn't go out with him. I broke his frigging heart.
The most unfortunate thing about the entire experience is that I told him no eventuiugh I still had major feelings for him and still do. When ever I see him all I cab thinn is "thank god he is still alive" Its terrible.
Well what can I do now. I can sleep now.