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Youths eyes oversee truth Captained by a world of hatred Too young yet too old A thin line of reality “To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music that words make.” Truman Capote

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Messed UP!

Okay so bringing yalls up to speed. I AM A WHORE! Holy shit! I actually don't know what is wrong with me!!! Okay so the story, last night I was at a party with my friends and stuff and I got really high - actually not that high but a couple to many tokes. Anyways, I was also fairly drunk or tipsy, and well I kissed and confronted the girl I like and then hooked up with my ex, kissed a good friend and also kissed another good friend. I AM A WHORE! DEAR LORD! and then tonight, instead of going and hanging out with my other friends I chose to invite my ex over, cuz we agreed to be friends with benefits (WHAT??), and we made out fro about three hours... I FAIL!!! Oh and I'm doing this while I'm fawning over this AMAZING girl I realllllllly like! Oh god, she's so amazing! She's beautiful, funny okay HILARIOUS, intelligent, she laughs at my really bad jokes and I believe she likes me to. I think, but all she is saying is that she is CONFUSED!! UGH! (she has never had anyone be so upfront about liking her, I DON"T KNOW WHY! She is so glorious!

Okay, anyways, thats the past 42 hours of my life, great huh? I just keep fucking myself over. I know I should stop with the friends with benefits but until i know what is going on with my crush, WHY NOT? I know it's a bad view point but i even talked to her about it's not a bad thing, just if she's not cool with it I'll stop. But she hasn't said anything about it other than no its okay but should I just trust my instincts and stop it? WHat do I DO!!?!?!? I NEED A COUNCELORS APOINTMENT!! Dear lord, and I thought grade 12 wouldn't be so fucked up...well, I was wrong.

The Current Fucked Up Me:
Current Muse: Stars, Radiohead, Disney, Muse
Current Boyfriend: no
Current Girlfriend: Hopefully A!
Current Relationship Status: Having a FWB and a major crush
Current Weight: okay, but I still want to lose some weight
Current Happiness Level: Not good!
Current Awake-ness Level: Pretty good
Current Employment: Slave to Meat
Current Writing Status: starting second chapter of The Unknown
Current I-Feel-Fab-About-Life-In-All-Ways Level: Shit

Ophelya = depressed, suppressed sexuallity and urges mixed with utter stupidity UGH!!!

My life is turning into a soup opera!

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