Dynamics

So, I'm sitting in front of my friends computer and I don't know why I am here. I'm here because of fucking habit. I'm tired, getting into a disagreement with another friend and its fucking Thursday and 11 o'clock. WHY AM I HERE?!?!?

This blows. I feel incredibly out of place in the house I should feel completely at ease.

They are talking about things, that I can't put an input and they don't care. At all. And it sucks. I know it is my turn to be this one, but still it's really hurting and I don't want it to.

That first part was written a while ago and now I am better. Went to the counsellor yesterday and she said I did incredibly well considering my age (17). And today my Spanish teacher told me word for word, "I'm not giving up on you!" As I was leaving the class! I WAS SO HAPPY! I'm getting 57.6% in the class, i was getting 45 something-or-rather a couple weeks before. This week has been so awesome so far. Oh I also reconciled with my long time ex BF G. Yet he kind of confessed his undying love for me, not so into that. I don't re-date, just one of my many rules. I just don't go for the sloppy seconds, its kinda pitiful in my books. Though it really depends on the person. For G, no I would NOT get back together. Our relationship ended for a reason and those reasons are still there. Sorry Honey, not going to happen.

Just Another Week

Okay so this week has been interesing. One: got a mild concussion on the weekend. Two: am feeling totally alienated from my two best buds, C and S, which blows!!! Erm what else sucks in my life. Oh! Bingo!! No body fucking listens to me. Okay j get it I'm a nieve little high school chick pleading to be understood. Just to clearify, I'm not looking to be understood I'm looking for some one to listen!!! Listening and understanding are completely different. I don't care if you get what I'm saying as long as you'll let me say it. If that is to much to ask for, sorry for being such a fucking insignicant waist of time. See you the after life fuckers.

Ps: just had a bad blow out at my dad. We don't always get along. Suppressed anger? Just a possibility.


Toodles,

the Unconventional Girl

Weekend hell

Another day in fucking paradise... Not! Guess what? I got concussed over the weekend!! Oh yeah! So much fun. So what happend was I went to a soccer game, my own, and played in goal for half of it. Then I played out as a midfielder for the second half. During the last 20 minutes or so I had a ball to the head twice, both tines from close rang blasts!! I'm talking seriously hard kicks here. Then I was tackled, yes there is tackling in soccer and landed on my head. It was fun trying to stand after that.

So today I got to my friend S's for our morning ritual and I told her everything. Afterwhich I realized I'd be useless at school and stayed at her house and slept for the first two blocks, Spanish and writing. Both classes I need to get into the prohlgeam I want but I can make up what ever I missed.


Anyways, I have to write a poem - which I will post - on my version or vision if what hell is. By the by this is for my lit class. IT IS AWESOME!! so yeah. See yeah.



Toodles,

the Unconventional Girl